Christmas Song Parodies

Frosty the Snowman—Bob the Frosty-man

Bob West was frosty
When he looked outside that day

Even mounds of snow and 10 below

Couldn’t scare that man away.

Coat, hat and gloves

He bravely donned that day.

Then stepped out to the white abyss

And began to make his way.

Digging the hump hump

Tossing the lump lump

Look at Bobby go

Chipping the chunk chunk

Hitting a stump stump

Through the hills of snow……

Hey, has anyone seen Bob lately?

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Up on the housetop

Up on the housetop

Bob West stood

Cleaning the gutters

Of twigs and wood

Looked down the chimney

And what to find,

A bag full of toys

Left behind

Ho, Ho, Ho,

Don't have to go

Ho, Ho, Ho

Don't have to blow

All of my money

Clink, clink, clink

Thanks to a Santa

Who likes to drink.

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We Three Kings

Bob West likes, to watch TV,

Three remotes, and movies to see,

Home repairs to, horror scares,

And, all the mysteries.

OH, OH

CSI and Harry’s Law,

Big Bang Theory, Professional ball,

Dexter, Homeland, Classical Arts,

Spanish channel, he loves them all.

Settling in, with glass of ice tea,

TV guide out, what will it be,

So many channels, so little time,

But, not a thing to see.

OH, OH,

CNN, the President,

Talks about the money spent,

Took control of every channel,

Now he's in such great lament

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Hark the Herald Angels Sing

Decorations hung way high,

Ladders aimed up to the sky,

Dad in work boots, on a bet,

Scaled the scaffold without a net

Slowly, slowly as he crept

He looked down, then missed a step

Falling deep into the brush

We stood aghast and in a hush.

"I can do this, yes I can"

Proclaimed the voice of Bob, The Man.

Then he climbed out from beneath,

Plastic Santa and a wreath.

Hand me rope and then some duck tape

Take no prisoners, no escape.

Who will have the best-lit home

Reindeer, Mangers and a Gnome

Bob, The Man will win the fight

With twenty thousand twinkling lights.

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Grandma got run over by a reindeer tune

Grandpa Bob has 'friended' me on Facebook,

Even has a real nice profile pic.

He now knows how to “Like” and make a comment

Old Dog, that is learning, a new trick.

                                                                       

He checks up on his peeps every morning,

And sometimes in the middle of the night.

He watches all the movies that are posted,

His spelling, though, is really such a fright.

                                                                       

We are very proud of our Grandpa,

Keeping up with new technology.

He’s really hip with using all the latest,

Don’t make him, give up his Blackberry.

Grandpa Bob has 'friended' me on Facebook,

Even has a real nice profile pic.

He now knows how to “Like” and make a comment

Old Dog, that is learning, a new trick.      Eeee-ha

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Away in a Manger—Snoring away

Away in Lorain

Bob West lays his head.

His snoring is heard,

In North Olmstead

Bless all the dear people

As night lingers on.

While Pat plugs her ears,

And prays for the dawn.

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Do You Hear What I Hear—

The Mom, said unto the Dad,
Do you feel what I feel? (do you feel what I feel?)
Way up in the sky, across the land,
Do you hope what I hope? (do you hope what I hope?)
The kids, the kids,

Are finally moving out,
They high-fived, and gave up a shout.
Then hugged, and danced all about.

Said the dad, to the weeping mom,
Do you hear what I hear ? (do you hear what I hear?)
Yes, she said wiping tears,
Of course I hear what you hear (Of course she hears what you hear)
Quiet, Quiet, Not a whine or a moan,
For the first time, we'll be alone.

YES! empty nest syndrome.

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God rest ye merry Bob and Pat

God rest ye merry Bob and Pat

As off to bed you go.

Tomorrow starts the work week

I hope it’s not too slow

I pray that you’ll be filled with glee

As you go through your day

O tidings of happiness and joy

Don’t be coy,

You know you want some happiness and joy

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Jingle bells

Dashing out the door,

I grabbed my purse and keys,

Racing down the road,

Searching for caffeine.

There upon my right,

My fav’rite place to be,

So shining ever bright-ly,

A Starbuck’s cafe marquee,

Oh,

Coffee beans, caramel cream

Starbucks all the way

Oh what fun it is to dream

Of a frothy soy latte   Hey!

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I'm Dreaming….

We're dreaming of a warm Christmas,

Just like the ones in Florida.

With palm trees swaying, and children playing,

Building, castles in the sand

I’m dreaming of warmer weather,

With every bathing suit I pack.

Where the waves all glisten, and we both listen

To ocean, sounds on the shore.

He's dreaming of sun-filled days,

And, a cold drink in his hand.

May our days be breezy and light,

Ta-Ta now, we're off to catch our flight.

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Silver Bells—Silver Pills

Going home, To Chaos

And boy am I beat

In the air

there’s the odor of laundry

Children screaming,

Mommy yelling,

Get your toys off the floor.

Go to your room for time out

Little pills, (little pills)

Silver pills, (Silver pills)

I wish that I had little pills.

Ring-a-ling. (did something ring?)  Ring-a-ling. (who's doing that?)

Gee I think I need a nap.

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Jingle Bell Rock

Candy Canes, Toy Trains, and favorite dolls

Twinkling trees with snow laden  boughs

Frosty the snowman and sledding fun

Christmas time has now begun.

School is out, they all shout, it's time to sing

Time to see Santa, say what he should bring

Time to declare, you’re a good little kid

There's magic in the air…..

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Here Comes Santa tune:

Here comes Natalie, There goes Natalie,

‘bout to score a goal.

Skillful footwork, fancy and focused,

She’s really on a roll.

Fans are cheering, Coaches sneering,

She is ready to fight.

Watch out Mia, You too, Marta,

Natalie’s hot tonight.

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Chestnuts Roasting tune

Mincemeat baking in a turnover
Pat West stirring up the glaze,
Yuletide carols being played on TV,
And Bob, is dressed up in his sweats.
Everybody knows….

That Turkey, and a little mincemeat pie
Helps, make everybody smile.
As pants grow tighter with each little bite,
You’ll find us on the Bike tonight.

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Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
You're so petite
and tiny
You are easy,
to decorate
On a table,
to give you height
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
For Bob and Me
You're just right.

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Carol of the Bells- The Reason

Hark, hear the chimes

There go my dimes

Marching away

For Christmas Day

Day’s drawing near

Oh can you hear

Register rings

All caroling

Cashiers trial,

Frozen smiles

Tired aching feet

Numbly greet

Crowds fill the space

All in your face

Let's not regret

Let's not forget

Reason why we even have a Christmas,

Reason why we even have a Christmas.

He came to face

And take our place

Never fear

Christ is here.